I had an argument with a good friend of mine yesterday over something silly. He said that he might not want to even be friends anymore. It made me stop and think about the true meanings of friends and forgiveness.
I had a firend in High school whom I was close to my entire childhood. In high school we started drifting apart because she explored who she was while I tried to hide my true self from everyone. I would not have considered myself a true friend. My friend had some rough times in High School and I was not there for her when I should have been. I think she has forgiven me, but I can't say that I have forgiven myself.
I have only had a handful of good friends my entire life and it has been so unbelievably hard for me to make new ones as an adult. Perhaps this is why I feel that the loss of this particular friend feels more like a death in the family. The disagreement was kind of silly and the fault lies on both parties. I have since apologized and told him that I want to fix this so that we can continue to be friends. He doesn't see it that way, at least not yet. I guess that's what angers me so much. I guess we're not as good of friends as I thought and that hurts even more. I still hope that he will be able to forgive me and himself so that we can put this behind us.
1 comment:
I hate it when things like this happen. I read a funny book called, "We must be best friends because I hate you." All friendships ebb and flow. Maybe he needs time to learn these things about friends and forgiveness.
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